30 Weeks Corrected

Days with us: 4

Corrected age: 30 weeks

Today is when 'belly time' would equal 30 weeks- in the NICU this is the measurement they use to determine their 'corrected age.'

This has been one of the best days of my entire life: I was able to hold Rhys for the first time. It was amazing.

Rhys has been doing wonderfully. Today was an especially big day for him- they moved up his mL of milk, he was taken off antibiotics as no sign of infection was present, they took out his intubation tube (he has a nasal cannula), and he got to be held by Mommy! His night nurse, Paula, told me I "cooked him good." It is a rather strange compliment, but I'll take it! Especially after so many week of worry about how he was "cooking."

Here are some pics of our time together today:

Thank you so much for your prayers- please keep them up! God's hands are obviously on this child. 

Day 2 in NICU

Here's a video from Rhys's birth, and a video and pictures from today.

Rhys is now breathing without any oxygen support, but is still on nitric oxide. Please be praying for those lungs!

Our New Arrival

Well, last night, God said it was time.

I began having extremely strong contractions at about 9:30, almost out of nowhere, and went from 1 to 4 centimeters in about an hour.

I was prepped very quickly for surgery- Rhys was not enjoying my contractions, so they wanted to get him out as soon as possible. This meant I had to have a spinal block- kind of scary. The spinal made my blood pressure drop a lot, causing me to begin vomiting, and I was having such bad chills they had to strap me down because I couldn't be still. It was all very dramatic.

In the OR we had about 15 people. Crazy! Not only did I have a team of doctors, nurses, and anesthesiologists,  but Rhys had an entire team from the NICU waiting for him.

The first words we heard from the doctor were "What a beautiful baby!" Then, I heard the most beautiful sound I think I've ever heard- my baby's cry. I was so happy his lungs were developed enough for him to cry, I began to cry myself. The docs called out his height and weight for me, since I couldn't see: 3 pounds, 3 ounces and 16 inches.  The entire process was very quick and surreal.

Before they took Rhys to the NICU, they brought him by quickly for me to see him. I was lovestruck. He is the most beautiful baby I have ever seen.

So far, Rhys is doing pretty well in the NICU. He hit a bit of a rough patch last night, so he had to be intubated, and was given nitric oxide. By this afternoon they had reduced his oxygen supplement by about 70%. They have had to work pretty hard to help him keep up his breathing. Please be praying that his lungs will begin to work just as they should.

Here are just a few pics taken with Thomas's cellphone. Poor baby was trying to sleep, and we kept bothering him. I'll try to post some more pics, or maybe even a video tomorrow.

An email asking for prayer

I sent this email out today to some people in my address book- I am asking that you would all continue to pray for us, and please, add us to every prayer list you know of.

I have had quite a rough week, as I'm sure you can imagine. Pretty much, I was 'in labor' for 3 days, but it never progressed far  enough for me to deliver. My body feels like I've been run over, or beaten, or both.  

They ended up putting me on magnesium sulfate when my contractions got very strong, in hopes that I would be on it long enough to provide adequate neurological support for Peanut (mag sulf has been shown to prevent cerebral palsy in premature infants). They only gave me half of the dosage used for preeclampsia, since I have no issues with high blood pressure. Unfortunately, I am quite a lightweight, and Monday morning, by time the mag had made it's way through my system, I couldn't stand or walk without assistance, or even lift my arms. I was so thankful to have Thomas there helping me- he ending up feeding me, helping me out of bed, etc. It was probably the worst I have ever felt in my entire life. 

The perinatal team is still saying that I could 'slip' back into labor at any minute. They also don't believe I'll make it to New Years, but I am hoping I can still make it to 34 weeks. I know they have a lot more experience with this sort of thing, but I have made  it so much further than what anyone originally expected. Here are  some of the odds/predictions we've surpassed:

- at 21 weeks, when I ruptured, I was told I would lose the baby--  He has had a wonderful heart rate ever since, and has never shown any signs of distress

- when I came to Winnie Palmer at 23 weeks, the doctors didn't think I'd make it past 25 weeks-- We are now at 29 and counting

- I was told/warned that pPROM babies are usually the smallest  preemies, and his growth would probably be very slow and he would be well under average.-- He is measuring about 2 weeks ahead, in about the 68 percentile. In the last 2 weeks he gained an entire pound-  something babies usually don't do until they are in their last month

From the beginning, my prayer has been that I would make it to 34 weeks. When I went into labor this weekend, I cried for hours- in  large part because I felt like I failed my Little Guy again, but  also because I wasn't able to complete what I set out to do. (Yes, I  am very type A.) When I finally let go, and admitted to God that I  don't know what's best for Rhys, and I thanked God for protecting  him, my contractions slowed. Maybe God was just waiting for me to  let go. I'm not sure, but I am so thankful Rhys has had more time to  grow inside of me. I prayed all weekend (when I was in labor) that Rhys would be 3 lbs, even though (based on his previous rate of  growth) he should have only been about 2lbs, 10oz. (This is a big milestone for preemies- Statistically, preemies over 3 lbs are less likely to have complications and illnesses. It's also where they move up from being 'micro-preemies.') I can't tell you how thrilled I was when we went down for our growth Ultrasound on Wednesday and he measure 3lbs, 5oz. God is answering our prayers and protecting that little guy.

As far as I am concerned, I really feel like a hospital patient now. Like, really. They have decided to keep me on the magnesium until I deliver- I keep praying that my contractions will stop, and they'll take me off of it. It honestly makes me feel horrible (like the  flu), not to mention I have to constantly be on several monitors-  blood pressure, pulse, and the toco (to monitor my contractions)-  with the IV. For someone with a huge fear of needles, having an IV placed every 3 days is torture. Even though I was on bed rest this entire time, I could at least go out on a wheelchair ride occasionally, but now I am pretty much chained to the bed.

We have overcome so many odds- I know it has been prayer. There is no medical explanation why any of these things would have happened. (For example, I was told Sunday morning that I would be delivering within 72 hours- it's Friday, and I'm still pregnant!) I know that there are reasons it would be better for me to deliver: if I got an infection, had placenta issues, Rhys was in distress, etc, but- unless one of those happens, my belly is the best place for him right now. I am asking that everyone will pray with me that my contractions will completely stop, I will be taken off of the magnesium (Baby only needed 2 hours to have enough in his system for the neuro support), Rhys will continue to grow just like he is, and that we can both remain healthy and infection free. I am praying that at 34 weeks, they will have to induce me! That my body will continue to be a safe and wonderful home for this baby all the way until that moment. That I can continue here for 4 1/2 more weeks on the bedrest regimen I was on before: no IV, no continuous monitors. That the perinatal team will continue to have no explanation for my progress- we will know we have seen the hand of God working in this situation.

Whew. Sorry for the word explosion.

Love you guys. Can't wait to be back in the real world with everyone again.

Suzanne

Seriously?

Belly time: 29 weeks, 1 day
Time since rupture: 56 days
Countdown: 33 days

When I ruptured, I had no idea what had happened. I was determined to figure out what our best plan of care was, which lead to lots and lots of Googling. Lots.

During one of my Google searches I found kanalen.org, which is a site wholly devoted to PROM. I joined their support group (which is sometimes more depressing than supportive), so I now get email updates, newsletters, etc. 

Today, I just happened to click on one of the links in my email- it took me to a list of activities PAP (pregnancy after PROM) mothers should avoid. On the list: 

No professional singing (puts undue pressure on the diaphragm and all the muscles around the uterus; singing for fun is fine).

Hmm... so should I let all the feelings of guilt come back? Did my singing possibly cause me rupture? What on earth...? 

For those interested in viewing the entire list, it can be found here: http://www.kanalen.org/prom/pap.php?p=5

As far as the labor goes- I am still "out of labor"; however, I have still been having very strong contractions. I can't even begin to explain how sore my belly is. I am begging in prayer that my contractions will stop completely and I will get to come off of the magnesium sulfate. Even though my body has *somewhat* adjusted to this, I still feel absolutely horrible, and, since it does cross the placenta, I can only imagine Peanut must feel pretty terrible too. Hopefully, I'm getting the worst of it. 

29 week update

Belly time: 29 weeks
Time since rupture: 55 days
Countdown: 34 days


Amazingly, we have made it another day. I (along with the perinatal team) am flabbergasted that I am still incubating. My Funny Doc made rounds this morning- he told me no one knows what to do with me, and that you should never trust a pregnant woman. I guess we're especially tricky or something. 


Since we hit 29 weeks today, we got to go down for a growth Ultrasound- those are always my favorites. I've been praying that he would be at least 3 pounds by 29 weeks, but I haven't been able to eat much the past few days since the mag sulfate makes me feel so sick, so we were a little concerned about that affecting his growth. I was thrilled when he measured 3 pounds, 5 ounces. This means he gained almost 1 full pound in 2 weeks- my nurse said he's a 'moose.'  


Right now my plan if care is a little up in the air. (Funny Doc said they all stood around shaking their heads at my chart.) Obviously, the goal is to keep me pregnant for as long as possible, so it seems I'll be on the magnesium indefinitely. I am pretty disappointed about this. Of course I'm willing to do whatever is best for my not-so-Little Guy, but the mag makes me feel absolutely awful. Not to mention, I have to get a new IV every few days- ouch, ouch, ouch. At least my new IV (placed today) is higher up on my arm and not at my wrist like the last-  really hard to do anything, since I couldn't bend my wrist without tugging the IV.

Old Spot

 New IV

This is the cart I have to wheel around with me- even to shower. As you can imagine, it's a bit cumbersome.

Funny Doc told me he didn't think I'd make it to the new year, and that he believes my body is trying to take over- BUT, he also told me I haven't been a normal pPROM patient from the get-go. I know they have been doing this a long time, and they have oodles more experience with this than I do, but I also know that my body didn't complete the progression into labor for a reason. Maybe I can still make it into January. Maybe 34 weeks isn't too lofty a goal, even still. I'll continue praying for God's best for Peanut, but I hope we can make it a long time still. (Preferably without the magnesium sulfate IV.)

Which one of us needed to learn this lesson...?

Belly Time: 28 weeks, 6 days
Time since Rupture: 54 days
Countdown to 34 weeks: 35 days


So, it's now Tuesday evening, and I'm still pregnant--- after being told Monday morning that I would probably be delivered by that evening. Hmmm...

I was put on a low dosage magnesium drip on Sunday evening when my contractions began coming very strong. This was not to suppress my labor, but actually because it has been shown to prevent Cerebral Palsy in premature infants. It didn't seem to have any affect on my contractions until early the next morning, when they began to space out just a little. The mag drip made me feel like I had the flu: chills, flushed, achy limbs, nausea, headache, chest pressure- honestly, I was miserable. Luckily, my body has somewhat adjusted to this- which is good, since I apparently will be on it until I do deliver.

As far as the delivery is concerned: I am not considered "in labor" any longer, however, my labor is still considered "imminent." Is anyone else confused? It was a lot easier just thinking I had to wait until 34 weeks. Now, we have no idea when anything is happening. Not that I'm complaining about him getting some extra time inside.

I cried for hours when they first told me I was going into labor and there was nothing they could do. I had extreme feelings of guilt that I wasn't able to keep him in as long as he needed, and felt like my body was failing him yet again. When I was finally able to resign myself to the fact that he was coming and admit that I didn't know what was best for him and God was in control- my contractions became irregular. This has been a very unusual lesson in patience. We still have no idea when he's coming- it could be tonight, but it could be in 2 weeks. I just hope I'm not having these strong, irregular contractions until he comes- my belly is extremely sore (this has been going on since last Thursday).

I think Rhys just wanted to make sure he was the most important thing to Daddy, too.

So, I have changed my prayer- I'm not asking for 34 weeks anymore. I'm asking that he'll stay in as long as it's what is best for him. Obviously, I don't know what that is yet. Luckily God does.

29 week update will be posted tomorrow.

Labor Limbo

Belly Time: 28 weeks, 5 Days
Time Since Rupture: 53 days
Count Down: I have no idea.


Well, looks like today may be the BIG DAY! Even though I didn't make my original goal, I'm so happy that we've made it as far as we have. I'm trusting that this is the perfect time for him to come. I've been so encouraged by all the prayers for our little Peanut.

After a long evening of painful contractions, we (Thomas and I) were able to get a little bit of sleep. I guess I should have enjoyed the drugged sleep I was getting on the Vistaril, since those may be the last full nights of sleep that I get for years to come.

We're not sure what Rhys's exact size is now, but he's small enough that I will be given a c-section when I reach 2cm. My perinatologist believes this will be shortly. Please keep praying for the delivery -I think God has been trying to teach me that he's in control as my original birth plan was natural delivery.

Lessons learned:

1. I can try and plan all I want, but God is in control.
2. When it's time for you to have a baby, you'll have one.
3. IV's are the devil.
4. Six liters of water a day will make you extremely nauseated.
5. Showering on a stool takes twice as long.
6. Wheelchair rides aren't as fun as one might suppose.
7. You can survive on hospital food for longer than you think.
8. Life is better when Thomas is around.
9. Pregnancy has the potential to bring you both extreme joy and extreme pain.
10. There is nothing like the comfort of feeling your baby move and hearing its strong heartbeat.

We'll be playing the waiting game today, monitoring my contractions. Depending on how the evening goes we may or may not be able to do a full blog update after the birth, but Thomas will post something on Facebook when there is news.

Again, we ask that you continue to keep us in your prayers. We have appreciated all the prayers that have continually gone up for us. They have made all the difference.

My new relationship with vistaril

Belly Time: 28 weeks, 2 days
Time since Rupture: 50 days
Countdown: 39 days

Well, the past few days have been a blur for several reasons:

 - Misti has been here with the girls, and they have proven to be quite a good distraction. Yesterday, the girls made me some Christmas tree card clips to hang my Christmas cards on. (I don't have any as of yet but at least, if I get some, they will have a home!)

I know this pic is a little blurry, but it's the best I could do from the bed. 

My regular card board is filling up, as you can see. 

-  I have also been having more contractions- certainly not something we are wanting to see yet, so they've been giving me vistaril fairly regularly. They said if I start true labor, they can't do anything to stop it, but if I'm just having false labor contractions then the vistaril should be enough to calm everything down. Unfortunately, with my lack of fluid, just about every move he makes causes uterine irritability. My body is getting a little more used to the vistaril- I'm not totally passing out every time I take it any more, but I do still get extremely groggy. 

I am so proud of my little guys for hanging on so long in there. Although my goal is still 34 weeks, at least at this point, should I go into labor, I can take encouragement from the fact that he has had 50 more days to grow stronger inside of me. I just keep praying that I'll gain more fluid- it just seems like that would solve so many issues: his lung and kidney development, my uterine irritability, his ability to move and stretch like he should, my overall sanity...

Counting my blessings: Peanut has made it passed 2 huge milestones! 24 and 28 weeks! And, we have completed 2 rounds of lung steroids, so he better had come out wailing like Placido Domingo. 

Complaint: The uncertainty is killing me- I am too much of a planner for this! My nursery isn't decorated, I haven't even the littlest bit of shopping done: no changing pads, diapers, wipes, bottles, etc. It's enough to make me crazy. 

Please take a look at the link below- Lowndes County is hosting one of March of Dimes "Walk for Babies" Days on April 23, 2011.
https://www.marchforbabies.org/wd_regp01.asp

28 week update

Belly Time: 28 weeks
Time since Rupture: 48 days
Countdown: 41 days

I think 'sleeping well' in the hospital is a bit impossible, but that doesn't mean I don't try. Apparently, I am one of the only patients who actually sleeps at night- everyone else stays up all night and sleeps all day. Weird. Those people are going to have some serious trouble re-adjusting when they get to leave. Anyway, I didn't 'sleep well' last night- I woke up pretty much every 2 hours, but I did manage to sleep past 6:30, which was amazing. In fact, my nurse had to wake me up at 7:30 because they called for my Ultrasound. (This is very unusual- usually I go down at the end of the day.)

So, I got to see Peanut pretty early this morning. He looks precious, of course. I am trying to be excited about seeing him, and not fret too much over my fluid levels. I am still losing fluid, and my level was down a little bit from last week. Overall, I am still below 2cm which is definitely in the 'severe' range. (Levels vary depending on the person, but a minimum at this point would probably be 14cm.) I am encouraged that he seems to be moving around a lot, so hopefully there isn't too much compression on his little body in there.

Here's a pic of Peanut's face- again, it's pretty hard to see, with my lack of fluid, and he has his hand over half his face, creating a shadow. I think he has Thomas's eyes.

Here's a second pic- this one is his profile. Again, that looks like Thomas's mouth to me!

(In this one, you can also see a foot up by his face- they are ridiculously flexible!)

Here's his heart rate- as you can see, his heart looks beautiful.

In addition to our US today, I started getting my next round of steroids for Peanut's lungs. Ouch. I have to chant to myself during the shot- 'This is for baby. This is good for baby." One more tomorrow, and maybe another at 32 weeks. We shall see!

In other news, I am now the Reigning Queen of Antepartum. That's right- HRH Suzanne. I have been here longer than any other current patient. (My friend, Nancy, went into labor yesterday morning, so I moved up the totem pole.)

Blessing for today: I've made it 1 week without muscle relaxers!

Complaint for today: I live in a hospital. I think that about sums it up.